Cold Morning

--------------------
When I'm all surrounded by snow
And there seems to be nowhere to go
I'll sleep in until ten,
Get up with a grin,
Drink coffee, and go with the flow!
--------------------

It's the last day of January, and I'm 31 for 31 on the poem-a-day challenge!  It's funny how learning a new word or just a change in the weather can spark a verse when you're constantly on the lookout for inspiration.  Goals like this one, and my attempt to meet two people I don't know every week (documented at OneFaceInTheCrowd.com ) keep my senses peaked and keep the creative juices from stagnating.  It's definitely been worth the effort!

Virginia Snow

For those who don't know, we are visiting family in Virginia right now.  There are probably 8 inches of snow on the ground outside right now!  That's probably as rare here as it was in my hometown in East Texas. 

------------------------------
She's nothing like Olympia
She rarely makes a sound
But in Virginia Beach right now
She's covering the ground.
If she keeps us here another week
That's fine and good for me-
We'll hunker down without a frown
And enjoy our family!
-----------------------------

Now I'm going outside to have some freezing fun with my troop of little nieces!

In Virginia Beach

In Virginia Beach
It's a family circus
Lots of life and love.

Maxixe

Maxixe was my "Word of the Day" per a mailing list.  That's a pretty cool spelling for a word pronounced 'Muh-SHEESH'  Follow the links for a definition and video!

------------------------------------------

'I'd love to do it honey!'
The Godfather said,
'We should try Maxixe!'
'If you can spare the money
'and don't take a gun,' she pled,
'Capiche?'

------------------------------------------

Click here to watch some Maxixe on YouTube!

Bear with me, readers!  I'll be traveling over the next several days and may have to post by phone again.  I'll try to keep them short and simple to avoid a flood of random text and symbols like that wierd mess from Eureka Springs!

Your Vine

There's a vine in your head
Believe it or not
It could be near dead-
Or do you feed it a lot?
Curiosity serves
As the catalyst- yes,
Through which your own vine
Will be watered and blessed.
Do you read?  Do your learn?
And watch the plant grow,
Or let it shrivel and wither
with just what you know?

Stress

Stress-
heartfelt frustration.
feel the burn
inside the pressure cooker
office.
 -----------------------
A cinquain- See the 01/05 post for an explanation.

Health Care and Congress

It's a bit sickening when you think about it, how every politician likes to insinuate that they are the most qualified to clearly discern the distinct dialect of 'the American people.'  There isn't just one voice to be heard above the din emanating from the multifaceted steel heart of our diverse nation.

"Recent polls"- cited constantly- often only lists of manipulative questions with a tone arranged by special interest groups-  fishing for political point, not trolling for truth.  'Experts say-'  'Scientists say-'  What are their names?  Qualifications?  What company do they, and have they worked for?  Do they have an agenda? 

A bill won't pass if it's just a little bit painful-  that is, painful to a major corporation like Pfizer, Bristol-Myers Squibb, or GlaxoSmithCline.  They are not that much different from big tobacco when you think about it, aside from the extent to which they are allowed advertise, both capitalizing on dependence.  A permanent fix that will ease health care costs doesn't benefit their bottom line.  Congress wouldn't dare tax Viagra, Cialis, Latisse, or Botox.  A larger percentage of our nation's collections would then come from the wallets of our promiscuous legislators.

We can't offend insurance companies or doctor's unions with the plan either.  Why?  Because they join Big Pharma in faithfully lining the pockets of congress with ungodly amounts of money extracted from U.S. Citizens, made possible by the very Swiss-cheese policies derived by the bribed.  Call them 'campaign contributions,'  but it's only a guise for corruption.

Probably the best indicator of injustice floating facetiously over this fiasco is the fact that the elected officials who came up with the plan are unwilling to live under it.  I'll be happy to accept whatever they come up with- as soon as they do.

------------------
All of that to sum it up with a Haiku :0)
(remember, 5-7-5)
------------------

U.S. politics
Propaganda is power
Money for favor

Mood Swings

It wasn't the gel of my generation, but when my Dad taught me the Brylcreem ("Brill Cream") jingle, it stuck soundly in my head.  Today's post is a spoof set to the that tune, If you're not familiar with the classic ad, watch one of the original black-n-white TV commercials here.
It looks like they still make the grease!


Mood Swings

Mood swings
A hyperactive showing
Mood swings
A zombie's in the room
Mood swings
When one can change from glowing
To a grumpy, grim solicitor for gloom.


2MB3N6C3XSTT

A Teaser

Some explanation is critical to the posting of this poem.  I've been working on a novel for the past few weeks.  This poem is part of the story, and it's written from the perspective of an awkward red-head named Jake Lovechild.  Now that that's out of the way. . . .

Falling For Autumn

Autumn, girl, I fell for you

even though it's summer

so don't be cold just 'cause I'm green-

for that would be a bummer.

I'm the dude that's right for you

I don't mind if you give me lip-

As long as you promise to let me taste

The honey with which it drips!

Twisted System

Note: I wrote this right after listening to a song by an independent rap group.  The beat stuck with me through the lines, so read it like the Beastie Boys would~!
 ----------------
We all play a part
in this twisted system
as another small beat
in our country's rhythm.
Do you labor to your wit's end
to make your own meet?
Why is staying out of debt
now becoming such a grand feat-
Tiny plastic cards will keep
you shackled to your chair,
but you still feel so entitled
screaming, "No! this isn't fair."
Tell me right now
what do you do best?
For most it's working blindly
just to line the eagle's nest.
He's just pimping out his feathers,
sticking out his war chest.
You've got to either stand up
or get burned up with the rest.

You Know, Hugo. . . Haiku

Oh you know Hugo
That man should host a talk show
We'll watch his nose grow.

The Fettered Feather

As a feather in the hat
of The Man
It's odd how skill
and circumstance
Can wedge you tighter
beneath his thumb
When you should
be floating higher.

The Crash

One shot, two shots,
four shots a latte!
I'm buzzin' off my rocker
and I need to use the pot-tay.
Technicolor rainbows
are arching through my head
twelve short minutes after
I was feeling kind of dead.
I bellow out a random song
invented on the fly
And burst into a fit of dance
As if it's Hammer-time.
But what goes up comes down so fast,
my brain falls off it's perch.
With a bone-dry mouth, a yellow tongue
and speech becoming slurred,
the purple bags beneath my eyes
could now be used for laundry.
Countenance can change so fast
From neat and nice to tawdry!
What happened to my attitude?
. . . . I need a cup of coffee. . .
No you don't- just take a nap
You look worse than al-Gaddafi!!

The Ozarks

Perched upon the mountainside
in a cabin with a view
of Beaver Lake below us,
and naught we have to do
but listen to the wild birds sing
and watch God paint the sky
repealing inhibitions
to let imagination fly.

Shakepearean for Geeks

Wow!  So my second attempt at posting via cell-phone resulted in 6 posts full of garbage.  I don't know if it was the weak reception up in the Ozarks, or the length of the post that caused it to blow up.  My apologies to anyone with a cluttered feed.  Here's Sunday's poem in readable form.
----------------------------

A Shakespearean is a sonnet with 14 lines and a rhyme scheme of
abab cdcd efef gg
usually written in iambic pentameter.
Mine ended up in some sort of truncated trochaic tetrameter with seven syllables per line, but it works.

This is for all you geeks out there. . . .

Logical Soup

In the mood to make some stew
I put water on to boil
Then I tossed a buillon cube
Right into the pot with oil.
Steam rose as it melted quick,
The cauldron filled with bubbles,
What I saw then made me sick-
For I was brewing trouble.
'Ifs' and 'ands' with 'else' and 'thens'
Mixed with equals, plusses, 'ors,'
Parenthesis, greater-thans
Flowed onto the hardwood floor.
Boolean cubes were what I'd used-
I'd made algorithm stew!

Eureka Springs

This is my first attempt at a post from my cell phone so bear with me!
In Eureka Springs
Vacation means many things
But not internet.

My Moths

It's Friday night
my brain is dead
it feels like moths
are in my head
batting with their
velvet wings,
begging me
to think of things
I'd like to do
or try or write-
maybe, guys,
but not tonight.
Tonight I'm more
inclined to mull
While you flounce
inside my skull.
Settle down and
let me rest!
I'll face tomorrow
full of zest.
For you moths,
so dull and gray,
are butterflies
on Saturdays!

The Phobialiscous Poem

Triskaidekaphobia?
I can't stand THIRTEEN
Catoptrophobia?
I can't look at me.
Chaetophobia?
All my friends wax.
Cibophobia?
I don't like to eat snacks.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
AAAAAh! What'd I just WRITE?!?
Selenophobia?
I stay in at night
Ommetaphobia?
Please, shut your eyes.
Ostraconophobia?
Clams, I despise.
Sophophobia?
I don't want to know.
Stasibasiphobia?
I'll run where I go.
Hypnophobia?
I won't go to bed.
Anablephobia?
I shan't tilt my head.
Eleutherophobia?
Please put me in jail.
Heliophobia?
I know I look pale.
Geniophobia?
No!  Not a dimple!
Cibophobia?
Eating's not simple.
Barophobia?
Stop holding me down!
Geliophobia?
I have a comfortable frown.


Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia has got to be the most ironic word in the English language :-) .

Thanks. . .

(I've Had) The Meal Of My Life

 My lovely wife took me out for my birthday last night- it was probably my most enjoyable birthday on record! (Thanks Love!)

This began as a tribute, but quickly morphed into something fictitious and farcical. . . . . .
----------------------------------------
[Sung to the tune of:  (I've Had) The Time Of My Life]
You can play the song here and sing along!

Me: Last night I went out with my wife
And I never ate that much before
Yes I swear it's the truth
and I think my belly grew

Wife: And I bought that meal just for you
and yes, I believe it grew

Me: We went to a fancy place
and my girl, she said with grace
"Get anything."

Wife: My husband's such a male-
ordered steak and lobster tail, so pricey!

Both: But first we got an appetizer-
it was green tomatoes fried and so greasy!
So we ordered wine and beer
And tried to shake our fear of calories.

Me: Just save room for

Wife: Dessert and coffee

Me: How about creme brule?

Wife: I'd rather have bread pudding

Both: Yeah, let's get that because

(CHORUS)

Both: This is the meal of my life
No I never ate this much before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And it sounds a bit uncouth
But this is the meal of my life
And I'll need to lie down upon the floor
Baby it's the the truth
And I owe it all to you

Wife: Babe you've eaten all the crumbs
and you look like you could really use a tums.

Me: Darling that stuff works too slow
I think what I need is pepto

Wife: I'm beginning to feel it too
Do you think it's this decaff brew?

Me: Indigestion
My gut is swelling

Wife: I think I've heard enough

Me: Listen to my ears ring!

Both: We should go home because

(CHORUS)

Both: I had the meal of my life
No I've never hurt this bad before
I swear I've turned blue
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the meal of my life
But it feels a little more like death
I now have rancid breath
And we're gonna be so poor.

*Instrumental*

Me: Now I've had the meal of my life
No I never ate this way before
(Wife: Never ate this way)
Boy: Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

Both: 'Cause I had the meal of my life
But it feels a little more like death

I now have rancid breath

And we're gonna be so poor.
Both:  Because that was the meal of my life
I'll need to lie down upon the floor
Baby it's the the truth
And I owe it all to you

The Limerick

The limerick is a classic- 5 lines with a strict rhyme scheme of:
A
A
B
B
A

I'm sure you've heard these before somewhere, probably 90% of them begin with
"There once was a [animal/person/thing] from [place]"

I don't think I've ever heard a really serious limerick, the structure in itself just begs for witty humor or sillyness.  Challenge of the day- to come up with a limerick or two that doesn't begin with "There once was. . ."
---------------------------



Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to thee
I sang unto me
You take the cake!
(At least the one your wife bakes)
But that is the way it should be!
---------------------------



Hap Slap and Hoyt Hogg

Hap Slap and Hoyt Hogg
Got drunk on egg nog
Went and pawned their lincoln logs
Sold them to a gang of dogs
But gave the cash to a homeless frog.               (?!?)
---------------------------



Deep in the Forest

Oak stood next to an aging Pine
"Old man, you seem so assinine
"Scattering cones across the earth
"You never sleep, but what's that worth?"
"Paper." came Pine's reply.

Then Pine began to needle Oak-
"You lazy, deciduous fools are the joke!
"What's your purpose in this world?
"Immodest kids. . . just feeding squirrels."
"Heat?" the hardwood croaked.
---------------------------

Penciling Diamonds

If the pencil still carried
A cold heart of lead
Many nibblers and gnawers
Would surely be dead.
But the core of each stick
Is now darker and liter-
What gemstones are made of,
And still more to a writer.
There is no better tool
To transcribe words of might
Than a thin wooden shell
Housing carbon as graphite.
Just a rough allotrope
Yes, a mere polymorph
That wordsmiths worldwide,
Lay down by the corf.
A literal alchemist
Can bring diamonds about
When they make it a point
To just write them all out!

Definitions:
Allotrope
Polymorph
Corf

Hormones

Disclaimer!!  I hereby denounce any and all assumptions that this could possibly be a depiction of my own beautiful, perfect, infallible, even-keeled other half.  It's just, you know, for the rest of you poor gentlemen out there who married human beings instead of angels like mine ;-).

Slam! Bam! Crunch!

Growls and grunts

Headaches and the urge to munch

Heavy sighs and angry rants

The need to try 10 pairs of pants

A shorter fuse and longer groans

Things once funny, now bemoaned

Spare me, Hormones!

The Clipping- Haiku

Last night the Eagles
Had their wings clipped by Cowboys.
Come on Superbowl!

Flakes and Chic-Fil-A

Flakes

Let it snow!
Or stop the teasing.
These random flakes
are not that pleasing.

Come now clouds,
are you man enough
to send down more
than your dandruff?

Chic-Fil-A

Chic-Fil-A
You've made our day
With two fine chicken biscuits.
To top it off we
Sipped on coffee-
Bistro Dark's a hit.
It flushed away
The morning haze.
We're chomping at the bit!

Haiku

An ode to Haiku
Where every word weighs a ton
Potent, rich, and simple.

That was a Haiku about Haiku's, in the strictest sense they are three line poems with a set number of syllables:

5
7
5

It doesnt take long to hammer one out, but every word should be taken into consideration, there's no room to waste.  It's exciting to try and pack as much meaning and imagery as possible into three short lines.

Ten degrees outside
In Little Rock nonetheless
What did you say Al?

What Solomon Had

What is wisdom?
It's a pint of pluck
With the kiss of character
And loads of luck.

Sophistication

Do you ever feel an urge
deep within  your bones
to don that turtleneck and sport coat,
slide gel covered fingers through your hair,
and dare to do something of note?
Something sophisticated,
formal, expensive, maybe antiquated-
thoroughly out of your element?
It's a thrill
dabbling in the world of the elites,
casting your best image into the stream
of cash and venom.
And always a sigh of relief to return
to flannel and denim.

A Few Cinquains

I've come across several ways define a cinquain, some more strict than others, but they all have 5 lines.
1 word <- Title
2 words<- Description
3 words<- Action
4 words<- The feeling
1 word<- Recall Title
---------------------------

or
1 noun
2 adjectives
3 action (-ing words)
4 word phrase
1 word describing the noun
 ---------------------------

or by the number of syllables:
2
4
6
8
2
---------------------------

Here goes. . . .

Dogs
Forever faithful
Obey their masters
For love and kibble
Friends.
---------------------------

Cats
So tempramental
Come and go
Now I feel used
Scat!!
---------------------------

And finally- an attempt to adhere to all three formats in one poem!

Dogs                                        
Loyal, trusting                          
Panting, licking, snuggling
Provide unconditional love
Unhuman.
---------------------------

Double check me on that- the perfect cinquain based on all three sets of guidelines should go like this:

[1 word, noun, title, 2 syl]
[2 adjective description of the above line, 4 syl]
[3 -ing action words, 6 syl]
[4 words conveying feeling, 8 syl]
[1 word describing the first line, 2 syl]

It wouldn't be easy to adhere to all formats at once for every cinquain you write- when stcking to both the word count and syllable guidelines you're pretty much confined to two-syllable words!

ABC Poems

So today I found a list of over 50 different types of poems and thought I would start working through them and experimenting with the different formulas for verse.

First on the list are ABC Poems- they are 5-line poems with the first letters of the first four lines being in alphabetical order, the 5th line can start with anything.  Here's what I've come up with, show me what you can do with this formula in the comments!
--------------------------------------------

Word!

Antidisestablishmentarianism-
Biggest word you'll see!
Can you spell it?
Dare to say it?
Twenty-eight letters, twelve syllables!
--------------------------------------------

January

Almost too cold to breath outside
But there's ice on my windshield this morning
Cradunga!  Must I scrape it?
Don't whine, you nincompoop-
Just be grateful you have a car!
--------------------------------------------

Dessert

Apples, bananas,
Berries, and cherries
Chopped up and mixed-
Deliciously fixed
Fruit Salad.
--------------------------------------------

So I wondered if you could start with another letter of the alphabet to mix things up and-

Fruit of the Tomb

None of the young enjoy
Old people's fruit
Prunes. . .
Quintessentially nasty
Official snack of the AARP.
--------------------------------------------

In Good Sport

Two-bit beefcakes, heavily clad
In plastic, elastic,
And other strange pads
Pushing and shoving each other around,
Grunting and grappling
'Till they're all on the ground.
It's just when you'd think they'd had enough when
They get up, slap some butts,
And then do it again.
All just to move a small leather pouch
Full of air, while I stare
From the edge of my couch.
When it crosses the line, a million hearts quicken
While men strut, dance, and prance
Like a brood of high chickens.
If you have a take, then I ask you to tell
Me one more fun way
To describe our dear NFL.

Approval

To my wife I said, "A poem a day!
"you know what that means, don't you?
"There will be days when, come-what-may,
"I'll need to write about you."
Her face turned pale as she began to wail,
"I'll have to approve them first!"
But I shook my head, "They'll go up un-read!"
I know she fears the worst.
"You shouldn't fear, Jenn my dear,
"My heart's not cold as ice!
"You shouldn't dread what shall be read. . . .
"As long as you are nice!"

01/01/2010 Marking the Day

Yesterday was the first
day of the rest of your past.
Did you do or say something
that could potentially last?
Today's the first day
of the rest of your time.
So why don't you mark it
with rhythm and rhyme?