The Limerick

The limerick is a classic- 5 lines with a strict rhyme scheme of:
A
A
B
B
A

I'm sure you've heard these before somewhere, probably 90% of them begin with
"There once was a [animal/person/thing] from [place]"

I don't think I've ever heard a really serious limerick, the structure in itself just begs for witty humor or sillyness.  Challenge of the day- to come up with a limerick or two that doesn't begin with "There once was. . ."
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Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to thee
I sang unto me
You take the cake!
(At least the one your wife bakes)
But that is the way it should be!
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Hap Slap and Hoyt Hogg

Hap Slap and Hoyt Hogg
Got drunk on egg nog
Went and pawned their lincoln logs
Sold them to a gang of dogs
But gave the cash to a homeless frog.               (?!?)
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Deep in the Forest

Oak stood next to an aging Pine
"Old man, you seem so assinine
"Scattering cones across the earth
"You never sleep, but what's that worth?"
"Paper." came Pine's reply.

Then Pine began to needle Oak-
"You lazy, deciduous fools are the joke!
"What's your purpose in this world?
"Immodest kids. . . just feeding squirrels."
"Heat?" the hardwood croaked.
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