Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Family Story #5: The De-Evolution of Man

The backstory behind these twisted tales can be found here.

Story #5: The De-Evolution of Man, Fast-Forward-ed

KJIn the beginning of time, God created man. After a minute MeHe became very distracted by the task of creating dogs, cats, and jellyfish. Woman was the last thing on his mind, but man JFwas made in the image of the Almighty, and so man changed the names of the animals to gibberish sounding onomatopoeias.

JLThe elephants became “elfnomipus,” the flamingos became “freepontaneeze,” and the CJgrizzly bears became “go-go gonzos”. . . . then they ate the seatbelts out of Jennifer's Civic. Jennifer didn't mind, though, because she loved them. She took her civic to the car wash to detail it.

When they got home MFthey began to drink Smirnoffs.

“You better not drink more than 4!” she told Kirk, “otherwise you're out of here!”

Daniel then pulled out his homemade wine, which he sold LAfor three dollars.

Lynn said, “Right good wine for three dollars!”

The Smirnoffs, on the other hand, send Kirk out of control. He managed to get thrown out.

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