Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Family Stories!

Months overdue. . . . it's time again for family stories!  In order to appreciate these random tales of tainted truth and tepid terror, you must understand how they are created.  Everyone starts with a clean sheet of paper and has 1 minute to start a story.  When the minute is up, the papers are passed on to another participant, who reads the beginning and then carries on the story for another minute.  After the second writing session, the first portion of the story is folded backward so that the next writer can only read the previous portion written-- and so it goes until everyone has authored a portion of every story.  Some try to stay true to the storyline, others enjoy re-directing it mid-stream, but the resulting text is usually hilarious.

The past year's participants included Myself (Me), Kirk (KJ), Cindy (CJ), Mom (LA), Jenn (JL), Mark (MF), & Julie (JF).  Each author's initials will precede their portion of each story as I title, label, censor, and lay them out here.  Enjoy!


Story #1: How He Rolls: Doggy Tokes a Doobie in His Snuggie

JLOne sunny afternoon in late October I went walking in the forests of Montana.  It was a wonderfully chilly day, so I bundled up with my favorite CJsnuggie.  I was really warm, but then I tripped and fell.  I forgot that you should really wear Snuggies when you're watching TV, not when walking.  So I got up and then I had to go to the bathroom, MFbut the bathroom was locked!  I looked around for some other means of relieving myself and found a pot with a lid.  The pot LAhad a snake in it, but I chose to use it anyway.  What happened next was horrid!

KJSo I smoked a doobie and called it a day. The next day I hit a lick. I went to the pawn shop and crap!  There was the heat!  So what did I do? MeWell. . . I was in heat, and that doobie made everything look hot. The flagpole, the postman's knee- I adjusted my flea collar, cleared my throat, JFand made a beeline for the back door.  Whoooee!   I was safe at last- nothing but blue skies and sunshine from here on out.  Amen!  Hallelujah!

The End

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