Story #2: Crunch and Mold

Note:  To understand where this came from, read this.

This may be our most disjointed tale ever:

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^LAThere once was a kooky family that sat around sharing memories. The times shared ^KJwere somewhat crazy. Probably because of the dog chases that took place every night. ^MeBut the dogs loved it. They fought back with uzzi's, spitwads, and rubber band guns. The cats used potato cannons to ward off the postal service ^JFand the dogs had a hard time not laughing hysterically at all of the crunching sounds of chips being smacked. ^JLSo the children laughed and laughed. . . and fed the dogs (greyhounds) peanut butter and carrot sticks and the dogs stopped laughing and began to understand the crunchy sounds.

So ^CJloud! They were eating sunflower seed butter because peanut butter has mold. Then they tried to think of all the other things that had mold. After that, they went to the ^MFNeptune Festival and there was mold on everything- the car, the sand, the water. . . Thankfully it started to rain so everyone jumped in the car and headed home. They lived happily ever after.

Family Stories!

Months overdue. . . . it's time again for family stories!  In order to appreciate these random tales of tainted truth and tepid terror, you must understand how they are created.  Everyone starts with a clean sheet of paper and has 1 minute to start a story.  When the minute is up, the papers are passed on to another participant, who reads the beginning and then carries on the story for another minute.  After the second writing session, the first portion of the story is folded backward so that the next writer can only read the previous portion written-- and so it goes until everyone has authored a portion of every story.  Some try to stay true to the storyline, others enjoy re-directing it mid-stream, but the resulting text is usually hilarious.

The past year's participants included Myself (Me), Kirk (KJ), Cindy (CJ), Mom (LA), Jenn (JL), Mark (MF), & Julie (JF).  Each author's initials will precede their portion of each story as I title, label, censor, and lay them out here.  Enjoy!

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Story #1: How He Rolls: Doggy Tokes a Doobie in His Snuggie

^JLOne sunny afternoon in late October I went walking in the forests of Montana.  It was a wonderfully chilly day, so I bundled up with my favorite ^CJsnuggie.  I was really warm, but then I tripped and fell.  I forgot that you should really wear Snuggies when you're watching TV, not when walking.  So I got up and then I had to go to the bathroom, ^MFbut the bathroom was locked!  I looked around for some other means of relieving myself and found a pot with a lid.  The pot ^LAhad a snake in it, but I chose to use it anyway.  What happened next was horrid!

^KJSo I smoked a doobie and called it a day. The next day I hit a lick. I went to the pawn shop and crap!  There was the heat!  So what did I do? ^MeWell. . . I was in heat, and that doobie made everything look hot. The flagpole, the postman's knee- I adjusted my flea collar, cleared my throat, ^JFand made a beeline for the back door.  Whoooee!   I was safe at last- nothing but blue skies and sunshine from here on out.  Amen!  Hallelujah!

The End