Hot Cross Buns

Alright- this one has been dancing around in my head for some time.  A spoof to the tune of the first half of Nelly's Air Force One's Here's the link to the tune (hit the little orange play button above the lyrics to get the song playing) if you want to sing along to. . . .

 Hot Cross Buns

[Intro]
Raw-hide..  Raw-hide..   Raw-hide..


[Chorus]
I said give me two-ply
(cause) I need two-ply
So I can get some comfort for my hot cross buns
(raw hide) comfort for my hot cross buns

[1]
I can't stand the way the cheap stuff likes a' chappin' up my bottom
(Raw hide) the rolls they got at work are really cheap that's why they got 'em
(Raw hide) they really ought to think about investin' in some Charmin
(Raw hide) they don't have a clue just how many butt's they're harmin'

[2]
Now they might as well recycle the office paper, see
(Raw hide) 'Cause my lunch bag is twice as soft as that abrasive T.P.
(Raw hide) Now I'd take an oyster shell
Over squares from hell
(Raw hide) I'll break out the Cottonelle
(Me) I'm willing to sell, (raw hide)

[3]
I like the ripples and the quilted- are those some scented squares? Sold!
(Raw hide) It don't matter how you do it, you can wad or you can fold
(Raw hide) Hoard a roll of Scott
or Angel Soft for the pot
(Raw hide) We all have a favorite
that just seems to hit the spot (Raw hide)

[4]
Listen to my words, man
Because if you've got half a brain, man
(Raw hide) You know the after coffee rush shouldn't cause you any pain, man
(Raw hide) I'm not gunna lie and try to say you'll get a rush, man
(Raw hide) I'm just helpin' folks find comfort that'll last beyond the flush, man!


[Chorus x 2]
I said give me two-ply
(cause) I need two-ply
So I can get some comfort for my hot cross buns
(raw hide) comfort for my hot cross buns