Redneck and Peppers

Remember that old jingle that was fun to sing as a kiddo, but never really made sense?

Here it is:  This Old Man

And a tune, with its own music video in case you've never heard it here.

And here's my own version.  It doesn't make any more sense than the original, and it's quite tasteless.  But you don't have to eat it, so that really doesn't matter, does it?  I need to go to bed. . .

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This redneck
He ate one
Steam shot right out of his bum
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate two
And felt it later when he poo'd
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate three
Though Mama told him "Let them be!"
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate four
Then rolled around the kitchen floor
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate five
He screwed up and wiped his eyes
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate six
To get that masochistic fix
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate seven
Then they went all over Kevin
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate eight
And ate and ate and ate and ate
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate nine
When he dies, his Beemer's mine
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.

This redneck
He ate ten
Washed them down with coke and gin
Palomino-Jalapeño gawkers stand aghast
Get that guy some ice-cream fast.